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Lewis’ journal #1- Gratitude 

This is my first blog post. Of many I’d hope. I’m writing this blog for a few reasons.

One is that I’m totally dedicated to healing and I’d love to not only heal but to also help and inspire others to do the same thing.

Also, like many I imagine, my mind thinks. A lot. And getting my ideas and thoughts down on paper is a great way of clearing up the junk so to speak, nicely organising your thoughts as they come up in their own order and sending them thoughts out to the world through writing instead of dwelling on them, overthinking them and stewing in them is a form of meditation and will help healing and the long process of development.

Writing is among the best ways to file your thoughts, understand your thinking and get different points of view. You’d be suprised how things seam totally understandable as soon as you get them down on paper, it also lifts the weight of your thoughts that in most people can really drag you down.

Also life is about engaging in a wholesome meaningful way, sharing stories and ideas on healing is a great tool for this.

Another reason I’m starting a blog is to focus more on gratitude. I believe and I’m open about the fact that in the past I’ve been a selfish person without much gratitude, I know many would give an arm and a leg to be in my position, or to even be in a country that on the majority is helpful and prosperous. This blog will help me to show myself and yourself what type of things I’m thinking about, what feelings are coming up today and ways to purge, heal and change my thoughts and feelings. Hopefully I’ll take a feeling, elaborate on it, see it from a different angle and then take action. It’s important I feel to take things slowly, the path towards healing is long and its a lifelong journey. The mind, or ego, is packed with ‘stuff’, a little like your hard-drive. Literally gigabytes of information. Befriend your mind and ego, understand it was of great use, be grateful for its protection over you, but also begin to start letting parts of it go and changing its processing.

I guess then this post then will be about gratitude. What I find great about gratitude is it kind of covers a lot of mental healing in one shot. In the past I’ve read articles on positive thinking, forgiveness, mindfulness, arrogance, selfishness etc etc and they’re great but in a sense I’ve always read them in a secular notion, and I’m like “oh my, I need to be forgiving here; oh no I’m being selfish; damn I’m being arrogant again”. Keeping a tab on what I’m thinking and then relating it to a process can be overwhelming, especially to an overactive brain.
I’ve found practicing gratitude to help me with all of these and more with one fell swoop.
Often I’ll wake up in the morning and moan about something. “Oh I’ve got too much work; oh my neck is hurting; oh I’m spending too much money.” and so on and so fourth. I realised that it’s so easy to focus on the negatives, especially when I’ve been thinking that way for so many years, and in a sense I’ve been brought up to think negative. I’ve always been taught to gain more, to achieve more, I’ve been around people that judge, that compare people and put others down because they’re not “good enough”. I realised that the world I lived in is pretty much based on negativity and a need for perfection. Strange eh…..
I reckon that I could be negative about 100’s of things per day, it’s so easy, I could even tell anyone to think the same and they’d pull up 100’s of negative things to think about in their life everyday. It’s saddening really, and what’s more saddening is that when you actually notice the amount of negative things that goes on in your head you will be shocked at the amount of rubbish that’s regurgitated, and sometimes completely stupid things so stupid infact that it can actually make you laugh.

What’s interesting is that you can notice these thoughts, so you are watching your thoughts. Does that mean the thoughts are separate to you, in a way absolutely but only when you notice them, if you don’t notice them and you ‘be’ them, they become you when in reality this is not the truth. When you notice them you realise the thoughts just ‘pop’ up out of know here. By noticing them it’s like sitting in a room on a chair with the windows open, thoughts just float in or fly in haha, and you can observe them. This is the basis for most meditations.
One way of overcoming these nasty weeds is not only by meditations (future article) but by blogging or creating a journal like this. When you sit down and feeeeel your feelings not think them, you can write them down and then look at them and it’s your decision to change them, let them go and see things from a different perspective just loike meditation. It’s also important to realise is that if there’s a feeling you can change, change it. You don’t have to simply swap a negative thought for a positive one (although by taking action that is inherently positive), you may also need to take action.

It’s important though to be gentle with yourself, some negative thoughts have complex backgrounds, be aware of changing a thought and action, acting the thought out and then reassess it. Just like your life choices you can’t jump from a-z, healing your mind is in stepping stones and changing one thought may be a stepping stone to another, going over and over these until you feel balance is a great way to go. I had the same stumbling block of taking action, it not going exactly how I wanted it to, and then simply giving up. However after I reassessed, took a new action based on my old one things started to balance out.
So here goes. Maybe you can try this yourself.
Today I’ve been feeling a little worthless (story of my life), I’ve not been keeping up with my work too well, I’ve not been taking that good care of myself and I feel isolated because of my work. Here I can see I’m being a little ungrateful, but also I can certainly take actions to rectify this.
-I can quickly change some thoughts to grateful ones. I’m grateful that although the I’ve not been keeping up with my jobs, I have jobs and I have great clients.
-Although I haven’t been taking excellent care of myself I still lovable and loving, I’m still a child of God and in his eyes I’m perfect. I’m a projector of love always.
– An action I can take straight away is to take good care of myself, go take a fresh shower, groom, wear clothes I feel comfortable in, give my room some cleaning.
– With regards to my work I can make a commitment to finish my jobs easy and effectively, I can focus on creating an excellent workspace that promotes wholesome work.
It’s important I feel not to dive in too deep straight away, your mind and feelings are like a filing cabinet, and they need to be filed in their own order. My task for this week then is to always put my self first because if I feel great and I love myself everything else is much easier. My other task is to create a wholesome and effective workspace, I will also strive to catch up on all my work after this is done. This may mean skipping a few things I usually do for distraction which I will strive to do.
Also, I’m happy for the beautiful sky today, I’m happy for my great friends, I’m happy I’m working next to a bright window, I grateful for the opportunity to change, I’m grateful for a chance to open up and share my experiences. I’m grateful that I understand the need to take things slowly and be gentle with my mind.

So thats my tasks or goals I guess for this week and forever more hopefully. They say a habit is very much changed in 21 days so I’ll strive for that. After all we’re just changing habits and that is all. A habit is a learned emotion, it’s not wrong its not right it just is what it is. You have the power to change it. Below is a 6 step process to help with your ‘innder bonding’

  1. Be open with yourself and be ready to learn. Be open about taking full responsibility for yourself. Be humble that this is a process and you shouldn’t strive for anything, just allow always and allow flow.
  2. Feel your feeling, be honest with them and take full responsibility for them.
  3. Have a conversation with yourself, write a journal like this, what are you feeling, why are you feeling it, where has it come from.
  4. Ask your higher guidance or self what the solution is, this can be God, source, Buddha, The Universe or whatever you feel comfortable with.
  5. Once you have an answer take action. This is the most important step, because without action means no resuts. Keep at it and dont be hard on yourself, after all these are stepping stones.
  6. Assess your results, write them down. If you feel balanced then great give yourself some love. If you still feel unbalances then go through the process again with your new feeling. This is an unwinding process and you’ve just jumped off stone 1. Well done!!

I’ll keep this short blog post at this. See you soon and I’ll check in with you next time to let you know how things have gone.

God bless.

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Development is not a substitute for regular medical care. It is not a means of diagnosis, treatment, prescription or cure for any disease or condition, mental or physical. Instead, it is a means of reducing stress and balancing, strengthening and restoring body chemistry. When this is done, many health conditions improve by themselves.